Dear Teddy

Teddy, I've been bad again,
My Mommy told me so;
I'm not quiet sure what I did wrong.
But I thought that you might know.

When I woke up this morning,
I knew that she was mad;
Cause she was crying awful hard,
And yelling at my dad.

I tried my best to be real good,
And do just what she said;
I cleaned my room all by myself,
I even made my bed.

But I spilled milk on my good shirt,
When she yelled at me to hurry;
And I guess she didn't hear me,
When I told her I was sorry.

Cause she hit me awful hard, you see,
And called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad,
And I should be ashamed!

When I said,"I love you, Mommy,"
I guess she didn't understand;
Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth.
Or I'd get smacked again.

So, I came up here to talk to you,
Please tell me what to do;
Cause I really love my Mommy,
And I know she loves me, too.

And I don't think my Mommy means,
To hit me quite so hard;
I guess sometimes, grown-ups forget.
How big they really are!

So Teddy, I wish you were real,
And you weren't just a bear;
Then you could help me find a way.
To tell Mommies everywhere.

To please try hard to understand.
How sad it makes us feel;
Cause the outside pain soon goes away,
But the inside never heals!

And if we could make them listen,
Maybe then they'd understand;
So other children just like me,
Wouldn't have to hurt again.
But for now, I guess I'll hold you tight,
And pretend the pain's not there;
I know you 'd never hurt me,
I love you......So Goodnight,
Teddy Bear!
(c) teia baxter

Hope Your Happy

I hope your happy with your life
I hope your happy with your wife
I hope you see what you have done
I hope you see that this is all wrong

I hope you realise that your not perfect
I hope you see that money's not worth it
I hope you realise that family comes first
I hope you see that my smile was rehearsed

I hope you see that your tearing me apart
I hope you someday grow a heart
I hope someday I will want to see you
I hope someday I wont have to see you

I hope you suffer, but I dont want that
I hope you die, but I dont mean that
I hope someday your 'love' will be real
I hope someday you will 'feel'

I hope you realise that money cant heal
I hope someday you'll feel, what I feel
I hope that before you die
I hope to tell you, I wont cry

I hoped you would be a good dad
I hoped you wouldnt make me mad
But all my hopes from before are gone
just like the love you had for their mom

I hope that I see you one last time
I hope I get to tell you this:
'I wish I never knew you
because of you....I wish I didnt exist....'

What is hope.................

What hope means

Hope is bright shining light which keeps darkness at the bay
Hope is gentle cold breeze on a hot summer day

Hope is to remain positive when going gets tough
hope is seeking more when others think u had enough

What hope means

Hope is dreaming of tommorow
Hope is simmering under sorrow

Hope is sparkles when tears in our eyes
Hope is a beautiful thing & beutiful things never die

What hope means

Hope is as light as a feather
Hope keeps all of us together

Hope is ubiquitous and free of cost
hope is the last thing ever lost.....

such a lie

He made my heart fly
Seeing the world with an open eye
Regret losing any chance without try
and knowing who am I
A look from his eyes..
Made me know that I’ll never die
How could this hope dry ??
when he left without saying good bye
I’ve never thought that he has the boldness to deny
And all what we pass was such a lie.

Mere Words

I searched among the card displays,
To see if I could find,
A little something that would say
Just what was on my mind.

However there was not a one,
That captured it just right,
For no one else can understand
Just what I'd like to write.

I even find it difficult
To try to write it down,
For how do I portray to you,
The love that I have known?

I close my eyes and what I see,
Is someone I adore;
A person who is beautiful,
Right down into their soul.

Mere words cannot describe
The many qualities you show,
The love and caring nature that
You share with those who know.

Your kind and gentle temperament,
Your sweet angelic smile,
Your softly spoken sentiments,
That reach across the miles.

Your smile and laugh that sparkle with
The softness of your sighs,
The way your face lights up a room ...
That twinkle in your eye.

The loving gestures through the years,
That quickly come to mind,
For always you've a gentle word
To calm and soothe I find.

I struggle and I search to try
To find some words anew ...
And yet I cannot capture
All the things that make you you.

I shall therefore, be satisfied
That you must simply know,
Just how I feel about you,
For with words I cannot show.
-Kit McCallum

Life Is A Prison

Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.

Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.

Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.

Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.

Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.

Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.

Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.

Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.

Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.

So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?

You can't.
-by puff

hey

i told you that i would just post somethings that have happened to me so i am. well there is this guy in class who thinks i am in love wit him. and honestly i really dont like him at all. i dont know where he is getting this idea that i am, and i have at least told him 20 times that i am not, but he just goese you are soo full of it. and that really makes me mad. if he doesent belive me he can ask all my freinds. i told him to leve me alone but he keeps bugging me! i have tries everything! my freind areil is also convinsed that i am in love with him and keeps asking him out for me and that is just adding to the whole problem. it is almost to the point where i have to flirt with boys just to make him see that i am not inlove w/him and i relly dont care what he thinks cause i know the truth.
there is also this guy named charels and i know he is in love with me. he went up to my bff and sid, hey shes hott and he was talking about me. honestly i am a little freked out by both of them and i would just perfer it if they would leave me alone! i ahve tried everything.
if you have advice please comment! or email me at mandy17541@gmail.com, seale.amanda@yahoo.com!
thank you, your advice is needed!

superchick

this is a song called "stand in the rain"

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

have you ever

have you ever lived in my life?
spent pne minute in my shoes?
if you haven't then tell me why
you judge me as you do.

have you ever woken up in the morning
wondering if this was your last day on earth?
have you ever left you house
unsure if youd return?

have you ever seen your freind get shot
out side his favorite store?
have you ever seen a freind die
form drugs hes never used before?

have you ever seen your mom get beat up
by your step dad messed up on booze?
have you ever has an unwanted pregnancy
forcing you to choose?

have you ever sat beneath the stars
hoping god will hear?
have you ever seen your frenind drive away
after way too many beers?

have you ever had a friend
experiment with weed?
have you ever covered up with guilt
by doing a good deed?

have you ever considered suicide
as the only way?
have you ever has to hide yourself
behind the things you say?

ahev you ever wanted to protect
your freinds and everyonr in sight?
have you ever felt such pain
that you cried yourself to sleep at night?

have you ever lived my life
spent one minute in my shoes?
if you havent then tell me
why you judge me as you do.

heyy

well i have been posting reagurally and all that. i just wanted to let you all know taht i may actually write a few storys and post them on here. so yah you dont have to read them cause they maybe really long. :) just to let you know.

something must be

Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry,
I can't stop this pain
all I want to do is die.

Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild,
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child.

Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things,
always there and never gone
depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me
if I can't stop these thoughts,
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.

Something is truly wrong with me
when I think there's only one way out,
"Let this pain end,"
is all my heart will shout.
- amanda

another statistic

i don't want to be another statistic
some suicidal teen
who makes a choice to kill herself
when the world just seems too mean.
she can't go on with life
or so to her it seems
reality has fallen short
and so have many of her dreams.

i don't want to be another statistic
some pregnant little girl
who met this great guy
and then gave sex a whirl.
she was only fifteen
but it felt so right
she thought they'd be together
for more than just a night.

i don't want to be another statistic
some kid strung out on crack
who started at a party
and now he cant turn back.
first cigarettes and alcohol
now meth, crack and cocaine
hes been smoking it so long that now hes gone insane.

i don't want to be another statistic
some girl left in the rain
who was walking home from school
then raped and left in pain.
she cant tell her parents
and it hurts to tell her friends
she doesn't know what she'll do
to make the nightmare end.

i don't want to be another statistic
some kid out of school
who dropped out really early
and was acting like a fool.
he thought that it was boring
he thought that it was dumb
he doesn't have an education
but he lives on the streets like a bum.

i don't want to be another statistic
some stereotypical teem
I'm gonna make a difference
ill finish with my dream.
i wont end up pregnant
on drugs or even dead
i wont drop out of school
because ill use my head.

i don't want to be another statistic
to fit in some mold
of what society thinks of kids today
because it's getting kind of old.
not all of us are bad
in fact most of us are good
when will the world see us
and give us credit like they should.
- amanda

poem

this is a poem that i read that mean a lot too me.

LEARNING FROM MY PAST

as the days pass slowly
and the weeks creep by
i find myself obsessing
about ways that i could die.

i lay awake at night
thinking about the pain.
there's no way it can get better;
i have nothing left to gain.

suddenly thoughts if death
are controlling my every move,
and every battle with my mind
i always seem to lose.

i no longer want to be around
the people that i love.
all that i can think about
is what's waiting up above.

i cut my arms with razor blades,
to dull the pain inside,
but that can only last so long
i dont want to be alive.

i manage to keep my composure
when people are around.
they wont understand me
so i dont make a sound.

i smile when i have to.
i break down when i dont.
i know i should be strong,
but i also know i won't.

so i make a plan to take some pills.
it shouldn't take too long.
i write out notes to all my friends
to read when i am gone.

i ask my mom to understand
that life is just to hard.
my mind cant fight it anymore;
my heart is far too scarred.

i plan it out so perfectly
i even set the date.
i am pretty shure i'm ready;
i know this is my fate.

my bed is made up neatly
as i take them one by one.
i start ti feel a little scared;
i know i am almost done.

all that i can think about
is how i'm letting go,
and how much i love my family.
i really hope they know.

my eyes are getting heavy.
my body feels so weak.
everything inside is numb.
thats the way it has to be.

i'm glad my mom's not here right now
to slowly watch me die,
but still i wish that i could say'
"i love you and good-bye."

i give in to the darkness.
i slowly slip away.
i hope i go to heaven
where the night turns to day.

i wake up in confusion,
i dont know where i am.
is this heaven, or is it hell,
the land of the eternally damned?

there are people all around
although i can barley see,
i can hear the soothing voices
of people dear to me.

my family and friends are here
comforting one another.
i can hardly make out any words,
until i hear my mother.

each tear she cries feels like a knife
stabbing at my soul.
i let my pain and suffering
blind me from my goal.

at one point i was determined
to make it through this test,
to lead a life of fulfillment
and to do my very best.

but i somehow lost all sight of that.
i hope she can forgive.
i promise not to waste
my second chance to live.

i sit up in my hospital bed
tears streeming from my cheeks.
my mother rushes over crying
like she hasn't seen me in weeks.

i tell her that i'm sorry
for causing her so much strife.
i tell her that i will succeed
in leading a better life.

together we figured out a way
for me to get some help.
i now know that i can go to her
instead of doing it myself.

i know that it's not over yet;
its a long road up ahead,
but i appreciate the little things
because i could be dead.

I've learned to live each passing day
as if it were my last.
i look forward to my future,
and i'm learning from my past.
- Rachael Bennett

hey!! i just made this blog, cause i want to rite down my feelings somewhere other than my head. i just wanted to let it all out. i want to talk about life, school, friends, even family. i may even write a few poems, (that are probably not going to be to good), or even some songs. my friend moe, who is going to be on the Ellen show on April 25! i am soo happy for her! my friend kyrra writes songs just like her and i may allow her to post them on this blog. hopefully. i am also a writer and i am making a book called guardian angel. i am not going to tell you guys what it is about yet, cause i dont want someone to take the idea from me. just to let you know it is going to be awesome. thanks. and i may post a few of the poems i have read on here that i thought meant a lot to me. or i may just post what has gone on today. thank you for your time.

- Amanda reviled.